"Do you really need to print this email? :)"
Someone emailed me with this signature line the other day at work. My answer, “No, but would you mind your own business? kthx, dbag.”
As for myself, I’ve been thinking a while about whether or not to adopt an “environmental email signature.” During my first week at work, I had a lot of free time, so I kept trying to refine my “Please consider the environment before printing this email” signature. Every other email, I would delete it and then bring it back again in a schizophrenic panic (you don’t want to be the person with the smug, tree-hugging signature on your third day at the office!). But I finally decided to nix the signature because of that specific signature line above. How dare you ask me a smug rhetorical question like that? The question just goes ahead and assumes I’m a selfish dumbass who prints every single confirmation email I get from IT when my computer goes haywire. How rude.
I guess I don’t want these signatures to go away altogether. A few times, I have actually considered printing an email, saw one of these signature lines, and BAM! My guilt complex activated. I forwarded the email instead of printing it. But don’t be a jerk about it. Maybe try:
“Yo, girl, please don’t print me. That would be like cutting down .00000545 of a tree.”
Or, my personal favorite because of its directness:
“Don’t print this shit.”
Maybe not business-friendly, but it gets right to the point.
Or, just be nice and assume that most of us aren’t printing out every single email we get anymore. I think we're all pretty mature here. Kthxbye.
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