Oh Britney, You Did It Again

As you can probably tell, Carrie and I like, if not adore, Brit Brit. She's catchy, she's bubbly, she's made a comeback and we support her. And she's been looking great lately, she's my fitness inspiration, and omg I love her new CD blah blah blah. But let's get down to business. Her new music video is ridiculous in a you're-trying-too-hard-to-be-edgy-and-now-you're-just-offensive kind of way.

So let's start the textual analysis of "Criminal," Britney's answer to "Papa Don't Preach." The basic premise of the film is that poor, little rich girl/trophy wife suffers abuse from equally rich boyfriend. Note fake tears and great perfume product placement. Brit storms out only to officiously take her aggression out on a possibly unsuspecting female who was being preyed on by abusive boyfriend. I find this misplaced aggression disturbing. Britney is much less assertive with the male figure, and the director purposefully pits female against female. Not a fan. Then the domestic abuse happens. Glamourized violence runs rampant, so I'm just going to say it was tasteless and added nothing to the storyline.

Cue badboy in leather and also Britney's real life BF. He swings a punch (plus some more gratuitous violence) and saves the damsel in distress, who can only assert her agency once rich BF is cowering on the ground and still adheres to badboy's time frame. (Also, the tacky British pansy villian thing was so over beginning with Charlies Angels 1.)

So then Britney goes from abusive relationship to a coercive one, becoming a, and I hesitate to say partner, but pawn-in-crime of bad boy. Hmmm, gotta love those two options. The relationships depicted are emotionally unhealthy. So she is either being physically abused or used in criminal activity and as a sex object. Ppppperrrrffffeeeccccttt. I want to grow up to be just like Britney. (Not that I did before, but the Britney in “Stronger,” “Oops I Did It Again,” even “I'm a Slave 4 You,” indicated a bit more female empowerment and sexual agency then this piece of crap did.

So then we have some awkward sex scenes. (Note her passiveness, his archetypal masculinity. Irritating). Some more violence. A shootout where the lovers get away unscathed. And then depiction of dumb British cops. Eh. Probably my least favorite Britney vid ever.

I'll concede two things: Brit's bf is hot. Also, I love the depiction of London, because I love London and not because the cinematography was stellar or anything.